So this is an awesome picture! I'm kind of embarrassed to put it on here, but it was sunny and great, and I have two amazing friends to show off!
Weekends away always seem a little stressful before they begin. I do have to plan for meals and make sure things are taken care of before I leave. But it seems to get easier every year. Kurt is learning to cook more and the kids are getting older, they can all make due for a few days. I was so excited to rest, be refreshed, and renewed in my relationship with the Lord (I have been tired and weary and feeling like I am not doing enough, or like what I'm doing matters). This year didn't seem super special to me in any way in particular. The speakers were amazing and had beautiful stories and excellent things to share, but none hit me with "wow" that was God speaking just to me. But God is good, and it was coming. There was a wedding I was not super excited that was happening on Saturday night, but God assured me that all things will work out for His glory in one way or another. There was a session on forgiveness, and yes, I need to just forgive and not hold things against anyone, no matter what they have done! Then in reading "my verse", I heard "God is not unjust." He is amazing. I don't really want His justice. I want His mercy! Even for others whom I would like to have experience some justice….I don't. He has given me compassion and empathy, and pity really, for these people. Anyway….
Everyone gets a verse at retreat. It's random, and the leadership prays over the verses, that everyone would get a verse the Lord wants to use somehow in their lives. Mine was Hebrews 6:10. "God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them." My initial response was, "I don't help anyone." But then on Sunday we had some quiet time so I read in context and looked up the cross-references. Matthew 10:42 said, "If anyone gives a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you that person will not lose their reward." Okay. I do "help". The image came to my mind of every week at BSF handing each child a cup of water. Another was Matthew 25:40, "Whatever you did for the least of these you did for me." When I serve my kids, I'm doing it for Him. Even if they never notice. And the opposite is true, if I don't do it for them then I am not doing it for Him, ouch. In Hebrews 6:12 it says not to become lazy or sluggish, which is exactly how I have been feeling. God is so good! His word was what I needed. After that 30 minutes of silence, digging into His word, I felt like a new girl. I know I am right where God wants me. It is just so easy to think that I should be doing more. Or teaching adults, or someone who can at least make me feel like they are listening.
I had also gone to the If:Gathering in early February. God gave me the same words then. "Persist. Go on. Keep on at the work I have given you. I will let you know when it's time to do something different. The kids I have entrusted to you matter. They are a big deal, treat them like it. Teach them my word. Be purposeful in everything you do. Most importantly, dig in to Me. I matter most. I want you to give yourself to Me over and over and over. Every day I will help you. Give me your burdens and rest in Me. I will do the work." I didn't hear Him speak out loud. He speaks through His word, to my heart. God is so good.
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