I guess I will start one now.
Not having a clue where to start without feeling silly or scripted, I just went to get some breakfast at 10:30 and to peel a banana and limit the cookie intake of some children. I praise the Lord for spring break (but it is only day one). In getting my food I figure I should just introduce where we all are today. So in looking back the kids can see where and how this started and where they were. I'm not the greatest with words, and it's not going to flow. Especially when I have a lot all on my mind and it is so jumbled. I might just vomit words all over the page and no one will know what order they should go in!
Kurt. Oh Kurt. The best husband in the world. He spoils me rotten (which I'm used to anyway being an only child!). I don't deserve him. And I'm definitely not as nice to him as I should be. He works hard. I mean hard. He works in law enforcement. At the moment he supervises people who have committed some sort of domestic violence crime. He's been doing this job for over 10 years, and I have hardly ever heard him complain about his work. I don't know how he does it. He sees the same people make the same mistakes day after day. People filled with hopelessness looking for hope in love, drugs, or anything else. They don't want God, the only hope giver. But he goes on and on. Recently he began praying for them, all of them. There are so many, like 70 to 90 at times, i think? Only 5 a week. But who else prays for them? I love my husband and what the Lord does in and through him. He also is a farmer. So anytime the weather is somewhat decent and its not dark, he works on the farm. As the kids get older they spend more time out there. His patience will grow and he will teach them more. And hopefully we keep all 8 hands, feet, arms, and legs! I love him and wouldn't trade him for anything…he's a keeper!
Cade. The first. The go getter. The little man who always wants to try new things (as long as it's not food related). He is 10. He is active but loves to sit down with a good book and read, read. He played football this year, tackle football. It was a little rough. He loved the social side of it. But the tackling was not really his thing. He didn't want to get hurt, and he didn't want to hurt anyone-it's very different at home. He says next year he wants to try basketball. ( so far we've only let the kids pick one thing a year, once they are in third grade, to try to eliminate a little of the crazy) He also competed on the Oregon Battle of the Books team for his school. He attends Awanas and BSF. He has a crazy good memory for detail, if he's paying attention. He loves the Lord and has such a tender heart. Just a few weeks ago a lady at church noticed that he goes and prays with people during service when they raise their hands. Every week, he goes. She happened to be Pastor Scott's secretary. She told him and he wrote Cade a personal letter. It was so sweet, he said he was proud of him. As Cade read the letter he got all teary. He's not perfect, by a long shot! He pesters his siblings to no end. Argues with me all the time. Has a short temper. And many more. But these last couple weeks I've figured out, or remembered again, that he is not my battlefield and I can't lecture it all into him. So I'm praying. And trusting God, who loves him more, will work it all out in and through him.
Ella Bella Boo. My sweet girl. My fashionista. My sassy pants. This girl is determined. She never gives up. If her mind is set on something, she is going to do it. A wonderful trait, as long as it's geared in the right direction (in agreement with me!). She is very competitive, but is a great sport. She wins board games all the time. I mean all the time. She beats me. And I'm not letting her! She is even a good sport when I win and rub it in her face….maybe I'm not as good of a sport as I think ;). This year she played basketball for the YMCA. She had a great time and learned a ton. She definitely wants to play again. She is an excellent student. Loves to read, and write. She puts all kinds of effort into her work, which is very different from the oldest who just wants to get it done to move on to the next thing. She is artsy and creative. She loves to write stories and sweet notes to all of us. She is a little teacher. Always trying to get the boys to play along and be her students. But she's not afraid to jump into their crazy lego battles. So flexible and easy to love. We all do Awanas and BSF. Ella is the only one who is really self motivated. She practices her verses every night before she goes to sleep. I love that she falls asleep memorizing God's word. She is becoming and amazing little woman!
Davis. My sweet third. He is just beginning to come out of his shell. He is figuring out who he is and where he fits in the family. Lately he has been the silly boy. He can make us laugh. He loves to hide and jump out of who knows where, scares me half to death. I guess I deserve it though, my mother would say so. He is a mix of Cade and Ella. He however loves to eat. He will try anything, and eat a lot of it. Skinniest of them all though. He loves to build legos and play mine craft. He loves to try new things. He has that creative side too. He is an amazing little sketch artist. He adds details that I would never think of. He has amazing hand writing, probably the best of all the kids. He's a great speller and a hard worker at school. He is also a hard worker at home too. He loves to farm. He loves to go with dad and ride on the tractors and combines. He can't wait for summer. He is our flapper. I just see him standing on the edge of the field last year waiting for the combine as it's coming his way. Flapping his arms away…we fear one of these days he will fly away. He is excited about everything. Lover of life. He too loves the Lord and has a tender sweet heart. He is very stubborn though also, and has a hard time admitting fault (but don't we all). He just memorized all of Psalm 23! I'm so proud of him, he worked very hard.
The Brock Monster. Funny. Sweet. Loud. He is the most character I've ever seen in a little body. Just yesterday he was sitting on the couch with Davis looking at a book. There was a voice I've never heard. It was Peanut, Brock's little puppy. I've never heard Peanut's voice, but I shouldn't be surprised that he has one. Brock talks in all kinds of voices. Makes all kinds of hilarious sounds. He makes us laugh. He doesn't have to try to make us laugh, he just does. Ella said once when he was having a sleep over at my mom's, "It's so quiet with Brock gone. He's the one who makes our family laugh." So true. He is a pretty compliant kid, to some degree. He knows what he wants and he wants it. He won't let his siblings push him around. He'll just tackle the boys, or punch them if he's mad….we are working on this! He is at the age where everything is new. He loves learning. He asks such awesome questions. He sings hymns from BSF all the time. He's learning new songs at church and teaching them to me. He's always asking questions about God. He loves God and I pray that he always will. People love him. He has been pretty outgoing. He goes up to anyone and talks to him. But as he is getting older, I'm seeing less of that. He can be a little shy if he wants to. I like it, but I'm sad so see the carefree side go as he grows.
Me. I don't even know what to say about me. I'm always doing something for someone else. My identity at the moment is wrapped up in all of the above. The only two things I feel are mine and mine alone are my God, and running. Both of which can be interrupted by all five of the above. I'm convicted daily of shortcomings. How can such sweet little people bring out the absolute ugly in me? I have never grown so much in my life. And I need to grow so much more. Maybe that's another reason I want to start writing more. Not just in my journal, but now my "electronic journal"…hahaha. Oh boy, Kurt would laugh at me! But oh well. My goal is to not write for anyone else, just me. And make it so my kids can look back and read. Someday they may like it, or not.
Right now I don't feel like I'm involved in a lot of things and I face the pressure of doing more. But I want to keep it simple and make my family my first priority. When we first started having kids and I felt I needed to step out of youth ministry, it was hard. I felt like I was doing nothing. But God kept telling me over and over that I was doing something. My family, the children he has entrusted to me, are the most important ministry He could ever give me. So I try to keep that in my mind. The world constantly tells me I should be doing more. Even I tell me I should be doing more, reaching more people, using my gifts, doing something awesome for the Lord. I don't even do what I do well. So why should I do more? I trust the Lord, I trust where He has me is for my best and for the best of our family. So here is what I do now: teach the 1st-3rd graders at church, teach children at BSF, help out at the school in the kids classrooms, and am in a few prayer groups. I fold laundry, scrub toilets, do dishes, mop floors (not often enough), vacuum, clean windows, wipe noses and other places (less and less), pull weeds, plant flowers, start fires, and on and on. I play games, I spank bottoms (not nearly as often as I should), I laugh, I learn. After writing all this about my family I am so thankful for them. Maybe that's why I love journaling. It makes me see things from a different perspective. I've always journaled, just not in this way. So we'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll write one more time and decide this isn't for me…..we shall see….
For now I'm striving to just live out my faith every day. A new song I heard that is my prayer right now is: One word at a Time by Sanctus Real. I pray that every word I say will bring Him glory, even in the crazy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqSOhZChdDk.
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