First off. The title of this whole shebang. I am not at all good at being creative under pressure. So when starting the blog, and having to choose a domain name, a blog name, and a title for my first post I was slightly overwhelmed, to say the least. I'm not an anxious person, but this stirs up all sorts of nerves! It brought be back to the If:Gathering I attended a couple weeks ago. We were asked to sum up what we learned or what God was teaching us in one word. We were to sing a song, write the one word a rock, and take it up front. Okay, one word. I felt like I had been hosed with information, passions, excitement, and zeal for life. And I'm supposed to find one word? Talk about stress. In finding a domain and title…I felt the same. I'm not creative with words. I can say it how it is, but that doesn't always sound nice. So I was thinking Mantie Madness, like chaotic, craziness. But that really isn't how I feel about our family(maybe sometimes). I know I think my rambling is madness, and after all my ideas, I'm definitely certain it will sound that way too. But memoirs. That's memories as well as essays about a subject, I looked it up in the dictionary ;). But then, that's too formal. Now musings, those are thoughts. Probably can be scattered and random, or deep and thought provoking (those are few and far between). I have a few thoughts I'd like to write about. The excitement in my head and the passion to do more, what God is teaching me in the moments. I feel like every day I learn so much and I'd like to be able to look back and see the lessons and maybe learn from them again, so I don't repeat the same things over and over and over again. Even then, I'm sure I'll still be making the same mistakes (I mean, look at the Israelites…). So that's it.
My Grandma. Sweet Great Grandma Roth. She left a legacy. She loved the Lord with everything. She was gentle, kind, hard working, sweet, loving, amazing wife, and the best grandma ever. She went to heaven to be with her Savior a little over a year ago. My uncle Dave wrote her eulogy for her service. I had gone through so many of her journals to find out what things mattered to her. She didn't write in great detail. She just wrote what happened on each day. Many times she wrote about what she made for dinner. Every week she did laundry, and wrote about it. Just that, "I cleaned, washed and ironed." Yes, she ironed! Amazing woman I tell you. And Grandpa liked a big breakfast, so she got up every morning and made it for him. As well as a nice lunch and big dinner. She writes about painting lessons. Yes at 50 something she took painting lessons and interior design classes. She also learned to golf, quilt, and do ceramics. She had the grandkids over all the time. She went to all the sports games, choir events, and any program grandkids, or great-grandkids were involved in. She wrote about all the perms she got, her gardening, who wins what games, and all of the church activities she attended. I love leafing through the journals and reading what is there. I am so glad to be able to show them to my kids too.
The only thing that frustrates me when reading her journals is that I have so many more questions. Some days she has a little frowny face beside the date. I want to know what happened, why the sadness. Other days she just says it wasn't a good day. Nothing else. Why? I respect that too. Maybe her bad day had something to do with another person and she didn't even want to write anything negative about anyone. Not once in her whole journal is there anything negative about anyone. She started a journal about the time I was born. So for 30 years, not a negative mention (not even about Grandpa!). I wish she had journaled when she had young kids. I've heard stories about her temper. I would love to know what it was like and how she trained up her children in righteousness. How she became one of the most peaceful and joyful women I have ever met.
My favorite part of her journals though was reading about the sermons she listened to and books she had read. I loved finding little quotes she kept on tattered paper that fall out of the journals. She loved the Lord, and she loved learning more all the way until the end. I wanted to include some of the excerpts that I thought were meaningful to me that I sent to Dave for use in the eulogy. If it's here my kids will find it. Left to my computer alone…it will get lost. Here they are:
Many places all over her journals she would write: "Praise God for all of His blessings", and "Praise God from whom all blessings flow."
Sat. Jan. 2,
1982: Father God, I thank you at the
beginning of a new year that you give peace, power, purpose and the privilege
of prayer. What greater gifts could be
ours to enable us to live victoriously for you in 1982!
Wed. May 25,
1983: “For my hand made all these
things. Thus all these things came into
being,” declares the Lord. But to this
one I will look, to Him who is humble and contrite of Spirit, and who trembles
at my Word.” Isaiah 66.2
Thurs. May 26, 1983:
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and give
His life as a ransom for many.” Mark
10:43. Dear Lord, help me to be willing
to serve, to meet the needs of these dear ones about me and not to take them
for granted.
In the back cover she had this quote: One of the evidences of the Spirit’s filling is that exuberance of life
that shows itself in rejoicing and in continual thankfulness to God.
She also had a quote from George Mueller cut out and in the
journal:
If sickness overtakes us, it is for our blessing and profit,
there is no other end for which God sends it to His children but to do them
good at their latter end. What are we to
do? Tell Jesus, “Lord Jesus, Thou seest
my pain, my feebleness, my weakness, be Thou my helper, my Physician. Wilt Thou help and succor me? Show me what Thou will have me to do, help me
habitually to roll my burden on Thee.”
What will be the result? We shall
see how pitiful the Lord is. We may have
to ask again and again, we wait, but we must ask Him to give submission
meantime.
Some people think life is a burden, so do not wish to
live. I have no sympathy with this, for
I find life no burden. If we roll our
burden on the Lord, and walk with God, and enter into what the blessed Jesus is
ready to do for us; if we speak to Him, and put confidence in Him, in the end
we shall find every trial, without a single exception, has been for blessing,
and thank Him for all His dealings with us.
July 8, 1986: Help us today to keep your covenant and to
remember your precepts to do them. In
everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Friday, Oct. 3,
1986: “The Lord is the one who goes
ahead of you: He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you! Do not fear or be dismayed!” Deut. 31:8
Thurs. Oct. 9, 1986:
“The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.”
Christmas Eve
1986: Bob gave me Chanel #5 cologne,
bath powder and cream. What a special
jewel he is!
In the back of this journal she had some more quotes/goals,
I’m not sure if they are all her words or if she got them from somewhere? But she has them written out.
Real faith rests in the fact that God will
allow in my life only what is good from His eternal perspective. You can’t separate Romans 8:17-18 from Romans
8:28.
Jeremiah 32:17. “Ah. Lord God! Behold Thou hast made the heaven and the
earth by thy great power and by thy outstretched arm! Nothing is too difficult for thee.” Jeremiah
32:37, Isaiah 41:10.
Jan. 2, 1987
Wilson-Never a moment God is not with you, ready to use your
circumstances. Practice the presence of
God—a miracle drug—since God is Spirit He can give you undivided care. He never slumbers or sleeps. We don’t always feel it, but its there. God’s presence does not depend on our
feelings. Feelings come and go, but not
God. Faith is Fact, not feelings. We don’t need to be overwhelmed by disaster
because God is with us. See each
person as bearing God to you. My
response to people is my response to God.
He is with us whether we are righteous or unrighteous. Whether we feel like it or not. His promise is true. PTL!
To begin the new year 1987:
1.
Jesus must be Lord.
2.
The Word of God must be authoritative.
3.
Forsake all sin-deal with it.
4.
Put the cross at the center of your heart.
5.
Be willing to hurt-God’s good people do suffer.
6.
Be courageous!
Pay all debts.
Thank those you need
to.
I love my grandma and miss her dearly. But I am so happy she is with my Grandpa and whole again in heaven. I am thankful for my memories of her and the way she prayed so fervently for me all through my life. I want to leave a legacy like that for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. Living one day at a time, making each moment count. Embracing my place, be fully engaged, being obedient to the Lord in all things great and small, and living for His glory, no matter what.
Coming soon…the best birthday present ever! And it involves this:
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